Transform yourself, transform your relationship.
Are you living the life you want? Is your relationship a source of pain for you?
Are you arguing more, trusting less, or finding yourself not looking forward to spending time with your partner? Maybe your relationship feels stuck, like you’re just replaying the same disagreement over and over again. Do you not like the person you are when you’re in a relationship or wonder why you keep repeating patterns in the type of person you date? Human beings crave connection, yet somehow the people we’re closest to also cause us the most pain.
You don't have to be alone with your problems and you're not doomed to fail.
I believe that strong, connected relationships are the foundation of a life well lived and I’ve dedicated my life to helping men, women and couples nurture those bonds. Whether you’re in a relationship now, want to better understand why a relationship didn’t work or want to improve your connection with friends and family, I am here to help you. We can work together to heal past hurts and transform your self and your relationships into a source of strength.
I am trained in Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), two powerful forms of psychotherapy designed to promote relationship connection, healing and growth that are derived from recent breakthroughs in psychotherapy and neuroscience. I will help you develop a better understanding of yourself and your feelings that will lead to better communication, trust and intimacy. When you're ready, get in touch to discuss how I can help you live your best life.
Some of the areas that I work with:
We experience anxiety in many different ways. Sometimes it is directly connected to our relationships and sometimes it's feeling anxious about other things that affects our relationship or capacity to form one. A few examples would be: worrying about your partner leaving you, you can't stop thinking about them or some aspect of the relationship, you're too anxious to enjoy activities you used to love, or too worried about the consequences of decisions to take risks. Other times, we only experience anxiety physically and can't yet put a thought to it. No matter what the issue is, whether it's directly related to a relationship or not, we can gently begin to help you work through your anxiety so that it is no longer a source of distress for you.
There are many areas relating to sex and sexuality that lead people to want to talk about it in therapy. A few areas that make this an important and relevant topic: feeling uncomfortable with your sexuality, sexual choices/practices, shame around sex, frustration or disappointment in your sexual connection with your partner, sexual performance anxiety, etc. What I've often found is that sexuality and eros are such an important part of ourselves that work in this area often leads to powerful changes and insights in other areas as well.
If you've ever struggled with questions about your purpose or your worth, then you know how toxic it can be in many areas of life. When it is conscious, it impedes us from taking risks or developing meaningful relationships. Why bother trying when you believe it's going to fail? Why bother asserting your needs if it'll only result in you being alone?
Often, questions about our self-worth relate back to important relationships in our lives, as we often come to believe negative things about ourselves from the messages we receive. Sometimes weactively receive these messages and other times we come to believe them through the experience of silence or abandonment. Our work together is to revisit those difficult experiences and repair them from a place of love and compassion.
Parenting is such important but challenging work for couples. Few things can stress a relationship like negotiating co-parenting with your spouse. At the heart of parenting conflicts are often very important parts of a person's identity - your values, your history, your sense of efficacy.
My work with couples in this area focuses first on de-escalating conflict, understanding the dynamics at play that fuel the conflict and then unpacking the deeper core emotions that make this problem so hard to solve on your own.
Perhaps you've arrived at a place where your anger has damaged important relationships or led to bad consequences. Perhaps you're currently in a relationship and the two of you are worried about the way you argue. There are many reasons to change your relationship with anger and I deeply admire and respect that work.
I do not believe that anger should be managed or suppressed (evidence suggests those treatments are not effective). I believe that anger has a lot to teach us and we should take it seriously, with curiosity and respect. One of the important first steps that I take in working with anger is to distinguish between anger (which is a feeling) and aggression (which is more descriptive of a behavior). Anger is rarely the problem, but we can learn a lot from what is inspiring our aggression.
“Unlike other forms of psychological disorders, the core issue in trauma is reality.” - Bessel van der Kolk.
Whether it's you or someone you're close to, the effects of a traumatic experience can be felt long after the event has passed. AEDP & EFT have both been shown to be effective trauma treatments. Our work begins by establishing a sense of trust and safety in the here and now so that we can gently but courageously attend to wounds from the past.
Get in touch.
Use the form below to contact me regarding individual therapy or couples counseling. A brief description of what is bringing you to therapy would be appreciated along with possible times that work for you for a phone call over the next few days. If you have any urgent questions, feel free to include those as well. Whenever possible, I prefer to speak with new clients for at least 15 minutes on the phone so that they can get a sense of who I am and I can learn more about them. Please allocate for this when scheduling a time to call.